In Cameroon, the tradition of giving one’s first salary to their parents, a long-standing cultural practice, has now come under scrutiny from young people, some of who view it as a burden rather than an act of gratitude and respect.
In many cultures, this act is seen as a gesture of gratitude and respect, acknowledging the sacrifices parents make for their children.
However, in recent times, this tradition has come under scrutiny, sparking debates about its relevance and implications in modern society.
While the desire to explore one’s first salaries is strong, the fear of being termed ungrateful and disrespectful equally abounds.
Trishia, a resident of Buea, sees nothing wrong with giving her first salary to her father. Still living with her parents, she said she gives up to 70 percent of her monthly income to her father to support with domestic expenditures.
To her, it is a sign of gratitude for the sacrifice her father has done to groom her.
“My parents don’t force me to do that. I keep some for myself and give all to my dad. They do a lot for us so its our duty to support them,” Trishia said.
Some parents believe that it is compulsory for their children to give them their first salaries. To Mr Agendia, a proponent of the tradition, handing one’s first salary to the father guarantees future prosperity.
“I support the motion because I did the same,” he said.
“Giving your first salary to your father is an ancient tradition which guarantees prosperity. The intention is not to ‘dash’ your father the money. It is for your father,who is the closest thing to your God, on this earth, to use that as a contact to bless you. He can decide to use that money (part or whole) to buy things and share with others in the community or to hold a ‘saraka’ on your behalf. This African tradition was copied and put in the Bible (first fruit/ tithe).”
This viewpoint is not without its critics. Some argue that the tradition can be gender-biased because it emphasizes the father’s role over the mother’s.
However, Mr. Agenda defends the practice, stating, “As Bantus, we have a patrilineal family system. The father is the head of the family. He is the priest of his family and the one responsible for any ceremonial blessing of his children.”
A QUESTION OF CHOICE AND FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE
For many young adults, the first salary represents more than just a paycheck; it is a step towards financial independence.
Nyangha Sandy articulates this perspective. “Some children also struggle to build their lives without necessarily the help of their fathers. If these children succeed to get a job, they should use the money to help themselves, not fulfilling some rule.”
Sandy insists that such gifts should come from a place of love and personal choice rather than obligation.
“Also, I believe the best gifts are those bound by love not bound by rules so I insist that it should be a choice determined by how you feel. Parents who love to see their children win will want to see them grow, not necessarily expecting the first salary to be brought to them,” she explained.
“It is okay to show your parents respect when you are living with them but struggling on your own and giving them your first salary could be the beginning of a bad financial lifestyle,” Sandy added.
Shantel shared similar views with Sandy. He said he would only give his first salary to his father if he does not yet live on his own.
“Well to me personally, I cannot really give my first salary to my parents or my father, not because of disrespect but depending on the condition,” said Shantel.
“If I am still living with my parents that’s okay to show them my first salary but still, in such a situation, I’d rather share part with him and keep part for myself. In a situation where I’ll leave home to fend for myself, I’ll sure have my rents and other things to cater for so no I can’t give my first salary to my father under any circumstance.”
While some individuals like Trishia find a middle ground, suggesting that budgeting and open communication can harmonize tradition with personal needs, the broader debate underscores a significant cultural shift.
Trishia advises, “Why don’t you prepare a budget for the whole family? If you are earning 25, keep 7 or 8 thousand for yourself according to your needs. Openly discuss the issue with your parents without getting arrogant and hurting them. And with the money you have, start saving and investing. But in all this, don’t forget to enjoy your life.”
This ongoing debate reflects a broader cultural evolution where traditional norms are increasingly questioned in light of modern economic realities and individual aspirations.
The reasons behind this act vary, but they fundamentally highlight a culture that values respect and familial bonds.
However, as economic pressures and personal independence become more pronounced, the necessity and fairness of such traditions are being reevaluated.
