Bandy Kiki, aka ‘Shey Lesbian’, a UK-based Cameroonian LGBTQ+ activist and media personality, recently tied the knot with her long-time Nigerian partner, Jenny, who hails from the Ijaw ethnic group. The couple’s wedding was a celebration of love and commitment, marking an important moment for both their personal lives and the wider LGBTQ+ community. However, the reception to the wedding has been mixed. Some see it as an expression of love, while others see it as defiance against entrenched societal norms.
“Yesterday, I Became Ijaw by Marriage”
Prior to the nuptials, Bandy Kiki shared her excitement with her followers through pre-wedding photos posted on social media. Following the ceremony, she joyfully announced on X (formerly Twitter), “Yesterday, I became Ijaw by marriage 🏳️🌈,” a declaration that highlighted her embrace of her partner’s cultural heritage. This public declaration was met with support and congratulations.
“Congratulations, Kiki. 
Wishing you a blissful union,” Mirabel Ngong wrote on Facebook. This is echoed by Agi Eseh “Congratulations lady . As long as ur happy. A brave lady who knows what she wants and beats all odds,” she said. “You are your own priority. Life is about choice. Nothing Shake you dear. It is signed and sealed.”
The naysayers were also keen to have their voices heard. Many took to the posts to express their disagreement with the marriage.
“Those of u shouting congratulations, I decree and declare may all ur male children get married to the male gender and the female get married to the female gender in Jesus name. You must say Amen to this prayer ooh,those of u congratulating them,” Maurine Ndapngong said.
Yula Matty expressed disagreement both about the wedding and the dress code.
“Woman to woman wedding is suppose to be gown versus gown. Why dressing like a man as if you have but a long stick in between your legs? Sister you have the same apple like your spouse
. “wan late Banadzem” You are a disgrace to yourself and neither your family and Nso community,” they wrote.
A Blessing from Reverend Jide Macaulay
In a recent Facebook post, Bandy Kiki expressed her deep gratitude to Reverend Jide Rebirth Macaulay, an openly gay Anglican priest, for officiating their ceremony. “While we are still floating in the wedding cloud, I want to take a moment to thank Rev. Jide Rebirth Macaulay for his prayers before the wedding and for officiating our ceremony. It meant the world to us,” she wrote.
She further elaborated on the significance of Reverend Jide’s presence, saying, “Growing up Christian, having Reverend Jide, an openly gay Anglican priest, lead us in such a meaningful moment was deeply personal and powerful. His presence and blessing were a true gift, and I am so grateful.”
Beyond the wedding, Kiki highlighted Reverend Jide’s instrumental role in her personal and professional growth. “Beyond the wedding, Reverend Jide has been very instrumental in my personal and professional growth. From writing character references that helped me get jobs to playing a big part in me landing my PhD scholarship, he has been a constant support. What a joy to have you at our wedding, Momma Jide. Thank you, thank you.”
“Shey Lesbian”: Asserting Identity Amidst Controversy
Bandy Kiki, who also identifies as an entrepreneur, has adopted the moniker “Shey Lesbian,” incorporating the Nso title “Shey” to assert her identity. The title ‘Shey’ holds deep significance in her native Nso culture in Cameroon, where it is traditionally reserved for individuals who have made notable contributions to society. This self-designation has sparked varied reactions, particularly within the Nso community.
An account known as Big Benji Tech Community expressed their disapproval on a Facebook post where Bandy Kiki shared images of her and Jenny, in which she is wearing a Nso traditional attire.
“Bandy kiki you call your self shey ? Coming from Nso , I hope you know what it means. You have committed sacrilege and have actually banned 
your self from the land,” they wrote. “This is a dress for notables regalia and you are freely using it . Ok we dey wait you for last hour.”
Kiki’s use of this title alongside her sexual orientation generated controversy. Some community members view this as a challenge to cultural norms and values, leading to criticism and debate.
Facing Online Abuse and Threats
Kiki has faced considerable online abuse and threats due to her activism and public declarations. Notably, film producer Agbor Gilbert Ebot made alarming statements suggesting corrective measures against her sexual orientation. Such reactions highlight the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in most African societies, such as Cameroon.
Kiki is not the first high-profile Cameroonian female to openly come out as a lesbian. The first daughter of Cameroon, Brenda Biya, also came out as a lesbian and faced similar backlash. She recently took to social media to challenge what she described as ‘hypocrisy’ in the support that the LGBTQ+ community receives.
Unwavering Advocacy
Despite these adversities, Kiki remains steadfast in her advocacy. She further uses her platform to initiate conversations about LGBTQ+ rights in Cameroon and beyond, aiming to foster understanding and acceptance. Her adoption of the title “Shey Lesbian” serves as a bold statement of self-affirmation and resistance against societal pressures.
This wedding stands as a powerful symbol of love’s ability to bridge divides, and Bandy Kiki’s ongoing advocacy continues to inspire and challenge societal norms, creating space for greater acceptance and understanding.
