A Kenyan man who is now divorced says his wife’s suitors used to beat him, coupled with the emotional abuse he received from his spouse.
Antony Ng’ang’a, now a single father of two, opened up on Kenya-based television, Citizen TV, recounting how he lived in an abusive marriage that culminated in his wife abandoning him with a three-month-old baby.
While struggling to raise the two kids his wife left with him, Ng’ang’a was diagnosed with HIV, deepening his depression.
He recalled meeting his former wife in 2016, and they got married that same year. But trouble started when his wife began hanging out with other men and inviting them to their matrimonial home.
“I would leave for work at 5 a.m. and come back around midnight. One day a neighbour called me and informed me there was a man in our house, and he left immediately after I got into the house. This was after the neighbours told me they spotted my wife with other men,” he recalled.
“She started drinking, and I would meet her holding hands with other men on the road and every time I asked, they would attack me,” he added.
Ng’ang’a stopped sharing the bed with his wife and moved into their children’s bedroom. But soon enough, his wife told him she was done with the marriage and left.
“She took the children with her but returned them in the morning, including the one who was three months old then, I begged her to stay, especially for the last born, who I believed needed her mother, but she refused,” he said.
Juggling work and raising his two children became very challenging for him, causing him to lose many job opportunities.
He recalls how they could not afford food or house rent, and sometimes they would end up homeless.
“I would leave my children unattended and go look for work, and this used to worry me a lot, sometimes I would come home with nothing, forcing me to give them water because I did not have food for them,” he said.
Anthony Ng’ang’a Contracts HIV
Ng’ang’a narrated that his health began deteriorating after their divorce, but he was unaware of what was ailing him.
He said his weight fell by 28 kilos, and his hair started falling off.
“On Sunday morning, as I was getting ready for Church, my hair fell into the basin while taking a bath. I still did not know what was ailing me. My neighbour advised me to go see a doctor because I had wounds on my lower stomach,” he said.
Ng’ang’a recounts how he found out he was HIV-positive and thought that his wife had infected him because of her unfaithfulness. He, however, later found out that his wife and their two kids were HIV-negative.
‘’The doctors thought I had quit taking my ARVs, but that was not the case because I did not know my status. I was shocked because I was not even aware of my status. I took several tests, and they all confirmed that I was positive,” he said.
He said he was in denial because he was always faithful and never slept with any woman other than his wife.
Today, he believes that he might have been infected while rescuing people involved in a road accident.
“I called my wife and asked her why she infected me, thinking that she was the one who gave me the virus, but it turns out she was negative. Then I remembered there was a time I rescued people involved in an accident and I got some wounds in my hands and hand blood all over. I suspect I got it from there because my wife is the only woman I ever slept with,” he said.
Antony has been living a healthy life since he began taking anti-retroviral drugs after accepting his status.
He says he has no intention of remarrying or infecting anyone with HIV.
“I would never want to infect another person; it is so unfair; I just want to raise my daughters and provide them with a better future. That is my main focus right now,” he said.
He now relies on well-wishers to take care of himself and his children, as getting casual jobs has been difficult.
